Tuesday, August 28, 2007

If we ran the world

If I ran the world, of course it goes without saying that we'd have all the big stuff we want, like peace and health care and food and decent jobs and wages and housing for anybody who wants them. But after doing that in my first week in office, then I'd like to settle down to what really matters. . .

1. Garden nurseries wouldn't stop selling little plants by the end of June. They'd understand that we still want to be able to buy cheap little darlings and watch them grow, even in August. None of these $4.99 eight-inch pots for us, please; keep giving us those $1.99 six packs of babies.

2. We'd get paid for doing our hobbies. We'd get paid for planting our flowers and then watering them. I'd get paid for pursuing this new passion of making jewelry. If you love to cook, you'd get paid for that. Oh, and you'd get paid for reading. More for fiction. :)

3. Dogs could run free again.

4. There would be double-feature movies with news reels and cartoons again.

5. All tomatoes would taste like tomatoes.

6. There would be Cuban Coffee available in Kansas City. Close to my home.

7. If we got sick and tired of our jobs, even ones we once loved, even ones for which we went to 120 years of college, we could quit and do something else new and interesting, and everything would be fine.

8. Middle school wouldn't be hell and high school would be interesting.

9. Nobody would talk on cell phones in restaurants or on airplanes (except after they land). There wouldn't be a law, there would just be more thoughtful people. :)

10. If you were working on a book and having a hard time with it, you could toss the damned thing, and the publisher would say, "That's okay, sweetheart," and pay you anyway.

What if you ruled the world.?

17 comments:

Nancy P said...

And everybody could get into Costco for free.

Family Man said...

Morning Nancy.

You have to pay to get into Costco? I didn't know that. Shows I've never been to one. :)

I like all your rules, but I'd have to add I would get paid for taking naps. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a go of that. :~)

katiebird said...

Good Morning Nancy & FamilyMan,

Wow, I think you covered everything. Really -- it's an amazingly good list. I WAS going to say the bit about getting paid for naps. But FamilyMan beat me to it.

Nancy P said...

Of course, family man!! In a perfect world you definitely would get paid for naps. Good pay, too, because of your expertise and years of experience. What an excellent rule.

Nancy P said...

katiebird, how about people getting paid to lose weight or exercise or use diet to control diabetes, etc.?

katiebird said...

Hmm. I'm not sure there's enough money in the world to pay someone for THAT kind of stuff....

GreenMinute said...

First, I'd like to thank everyone for your generous b-day wishes. Thank you. And point out that Nancy is also a Virgo. And has a birthday soon.

FamMan: You have some work to do. I just saw Venus on dvd and there's a fellow in the movie taking a pre-nap nap.

Nancy P said...

Hi, green! Funny, you don't *look* older.

GreenMinute said...

P.S. full moon. full moon. The moon is fulling. The moon is fulling.

Hope it doesn't full on top of me.

Katiebird: I mark my bad blah days on a calendar and then check the moon for those dates. Some people have much better energy at particular movements of waxing and waning of the moon. Kind of like taters and starfish.

Either that or just kick everybody out of the duplex. :-)

FarFetch Rosemary is NOT a spice. It's a tree.

I live with a beer maker, btw, and she is jealous that you are able to batch beer this time of the year. She waits for cooler weather.

Far, you mentioned sugar. Do you use much sugar for your stout? Here the mix is either gallons of honey or molasses and then just a cup and half of sugar somewhere near the end. But the bride, thus far, limits hereself to a honey wheat and a porter. Hasn't tried a stout.

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy... Could you move your novel to Russia? As Natasha Fatale says:

There are no middles in Russia. In Russia, we only have beginnings

...and ends.

Family Man said...

Whoa! I never even thought of that Green.

In the quest for perfect slackdom, I'm still a seeker. :)

Nancy P said...

You guys are tres amusing today. "Still a seeker," lol, fm.

Russia! Slaps forehead and exclaims why didn't I think of that! Oh, wait, it's set in western Kansas. Isn't that the same thing?

Marking blah days on a calendar--ditto slapping/exclaiming. Really, that's a very interesting idea, green.

The moon was fully eclipsing last night, I think, but I went outside and couldn't find it. Couldn't find the moon. I guess it had the lights turned out.

Kelly McCullough said...

G'morn...something like that. Big storm last night. Sirens, high winds, catching five grumpy cats and herding them to the basement. Etc. Not a lot of sleep, especially after I got a big chunk of the wrong book lodged in my head. Just now getting back to the way the morning is supposed to start and the book with a deadline. Sigh.

Waves. Smiles. Goes back to work.

p.s. if you want more details on the wrong book thing, there's a post about it over at wyrdsmiths.blogspot.com.

p.p.s. on the perfect world front I'd be able to pack about 6 extra hours into each day at no extra cost. 2 for sleep. 2 for reading. 2 for writing. All between 12:00 and 12:01.

Nancy P said...

I like your time-insertion idea very much, Kelly. A time-deleting function might be nice, too. Like, between now and lunch.

Wrong book, wrong book, fly away home. . .

FARfetched said...

Restaurants would have more vegetarian selections, and wouldn't put a ton of salt and/or MSG in every-dang-thing.

Telecommuting wouldn't be an option.

The Tigers & Braves would have more nights like last night: Tigers 16, Yankees 0; Braves 13, Marlins 2.

Lawns would mow themselves (wave to FM).

You could hop a train from anywhere to anywhere; all of them would have wi-fi and power hookups for our laptops.

There would be no speed limits on highways, because everyone would be smart enough to drive safely at whatever speed they're going (besides, taking the train would be a better option anyway).

Every town would have a micro-brewery.

OK, I think I've covered it...

Hey Green. The house is air-conditioned, and is actually at the low end of the optimum range for fermenting. I just let it burble until it's done, then bottle it. As far as sugar goes, I use what I have available: malt, honey, molasses… haven't dared to try sorghum yet. The brew shop supplies the sugar; dry sugar seems to work better for bottling; I tried these tablets once & they did OK too.

That time insertion/deletion thing sounds like a wonderful idea. I'd like to insert about four extra hours in my day right now....

Nancy P said...

Far, I just love the train and highway speed ideas. "Driving safely" would include not going so damn fast they scare drivers they come up on, and not going so damned slow they mess up the highway choreography.

Conda said...

I'm an exercise instructor and a recovering health nut--so, healthy food would be a lot cheaper and easier to get than junk food--the most popular fast food restaurant would have a stalk of broccoli for its symbol.

Nancy P said...

lol, conda! Just don't make me do sit-ups in your world.